A lesson for me from parenting

Friends,

Many trip updates to post and pictures to put on here, but what has brought me back to blogging tonight is an experience I had while watching my daughter. I was not "babysitting" my daughter, as I have made the mistake of using that term before and was reminded by several friends that I am "coparenting" and you cannot babysit your own child. Whatever the term for it, I would like to pretend that I am just as involved in feeding, bathing and clothing my daughter as my wife, but I cannot. I have done all of the listed items and feel pretty competent but tonight was a memorable night for me as a dad.

Maggie is now almost 15 months and she is very active walking and exploring and playing. She has her own very definite agenda. My beautiful and wonderful wife is a part of a Bible study and it should be pretty easy for me to keep our daughter nurtured well while her mom is getting a small break from the 14 hour parenting days she puts in. As soon as her mom joined her friend outside Maggie said "bye bye" and then she began to cry. Using my awesome parenting skills I distracted her with her toy piano and she stopped crying. As the night went on, Maggie tried to be helpful by bringing me a glass of water which she threw all over me just as she was reaching me. I should probably realize that 14 months is not the right time to learn to be a helper for daddy, but Maggie is exceptional and I was proud of her for trying.

She goes to bed at 8 pm and we approached that time with repeated readings of books (I need to get some money for putting a duck, a dog, a horse and a kitty in a book myself) and plenty of hugs and sweet kisses. As bedtime approached I got her milk from the refrigerator and we had quiet time together and prayer time. Then I put her down to change her diaper before I took her upstairs.

Maggie did something tonight that to my knowledge she has never done before. She tried to help with her diaper change. She did not smell badly and so I was preparing to change a wet diaper but I thought I should go ahead and grab the talc also to be an extra great parent so she could sleep clean and dry. I was completely unprepared for what she did next.

Maggie reached down and pulled her diaper after it was unfastened as I leaned over to grab something else and she pulled it straight off and it went on her face and then on her arm. To my horror I discovered it was a diaper full of macaroni and apple sauce and crackers after they had gone through her bowels. She managed to tag herself over her eyes, on her nose, on her upper lip, cheeks, arm and leg. I did not laugh, I did not cry, I did almost do both at the same time but I just scooped her up and carried her upstairs to the bathtub. As Maggie got her bath she was crying, she knew that what she had on her was gross and she knew that daddy was not holding her closely as he usually does. I began to clean her. I then saw that while she was not physically hurt in any way, her feelings were hurt. She had just been snuggling in my lap and now she was being held out and cleaned and there were bad smells. During the time she was dirty, my love for her did not diminish, but she felt like I was distant. After I got her clean I reassured her, dried her off, put on her lotion and held her. She gave me kisses and was so happy to see that I loved her and was holding her close. I just sang her to sleep and put her in her crib.

I am blogging because I thought of God's love as I interacted with my daughter tonight. So often when I try to "help" God and do things in my own strength without His power I make a big mess. In the same way that Maggie could not get the poop off of her and make herself clean, I am powerless in the process of sanctification until I am yielded to God and the work of the Holy Spirit. He is the one who cleanses me. His love was reflected tonight in some small way as I cleaned Maggie, and yet I thought of the prodigal son and how much stronger and deeper God's love is than my own. Unlike my reaction of holding my daughter at arms length, the father of the prodigal ran to his son who had been eating out of a pig trough, covered in dirt and filth. The father embraced his son and loved him and delighted in his return.

Do not let Satan make you feel like you need to clean yourself up in order to delight in the presence and love of God. He is the one who cleans you, and He does not wait until you are clean to love you and hold you. He brings us into new life, and even though we spread filth on ourselves, when we return to Him in repentance, He forgives us and lavishes grace and mercy upon us. Praise God for His unfailing love!

1 John 3:1-3 ESV (the whole chapter is amazing!)
1See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears[a] we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 3And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.